


All for you

by highlytrainedfangirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, M/M, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2016-01-21
Packaged: 2018-05-15 09:54:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5781400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/highlytrainedfangirl/pseuds/highlytrainedfangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after 11x10<br/>Lucifer can see inside Castiel's head, including his feelings for a certain hunter.</p><p>Now translated into Russian</p>
            </blockquote>





	All for you

**Author's Note:**

> This stared out as fluff and somehow I ended up here. I'm so sorry.
> 
>  
> 
> This is now available [in Russian](https://ficbook.net/readfic/4671096) thanks to [hedinamia](http://archiveofourown.org/users/hedinamia/pseuds/hedinamia)

Dean felt the hand gripping his t-shirt and the fist colliding with his cheek. He knew the bruises and cuts they left behind. But none of it mattered.  
He looked up to the face of his attacker, looking for any trace of his friend. As much as it pained Dean to admit it there was no trace of Castiel left in those once vibrant blue eyes.  
"Cas... Please..." His voice came out rougher than expect and even though he knew it would make little difference he couldn't help but call out.  
Lucifer paused in his actions and sighed, "How many times do I have to tell you? Castiel is gone. He can't hear you. Well, that's not quite true- he can hear you but he can't respond. There's nothing he can do."  
Another fist collided with Dean's face, this time hitting his jaw.  
"See, I'm making sure that he sees and hears every second of this. I'm making sure he _remembers_ all of it."  
This time a knee slammed into Dean's stomach.  
"I could torture Castiel for days on end, but none of it would hurt him as much as seeing his precious Dean Winchester in pain, especially by his own hand."  
Dean didn't want to listen. The beatings he could take, but not the words pouring out of Cas' mouth, in Cas' voice that so clearly weren't his.  
"Oh you should see the things up here, the things he thinks about you. He would give his life for you, without question or hesitation. He's so hopelessly in love with you that he would do anything for you. But would you do the same in return?"  
Everything inside Dean's head snapped into focus at Lucifer's words. Cas was in love with him. Not love in a platonic way, not the 'I love you' spoken between family, Cas was _in love_ with him.  
This time he listened as words continued to fall from Lucifer's lips, "he has already done so much for you, given up his home, his family, his friends, all for you. And what have you done in return, hm? He has done everything for you and your brother and what have you ever done for him? Whenever he has come to you for help you have turned your back."  
Now Dean wished the beatings were still coming. The pain of them could have drowned out the ache inside of him. At least, that's what he told himself. But Dean knew, he knew that no matter how hard he tried the pain and guilt inside him was too strong to be covered up. Every night in his dreams Dean was reminded of how much he had never done for Cas.  
"He thinks you don't care. To him, you see him as nothing more than a convenient tool to be used and discarded. _Expendable._ "  
_No no no._ Dean wanted to scream. Cas was not expendable. He was anything but expendable. Dean knew he had treated Cas badly in the past, he knew he had been selfish, but that didn't mean he didn't care. Dean cared more than words could explain, more than he ever understood, he was just bad at expressing his emotions. Especially when those emotions contain three small words that Dean wouldn't, couldn't say out loud. Three words that he wished he had the ability to shout from the rooftops every single day and whisper in Cas' ear every single night.  
_I love you._ He spoke the word inside his head, wishing that Cas could hear them. _You're not expendable Cas. You mean everything to me. I love you._  
"It's so sad, he loves you so much that despite all of this, he always comes back. Even when he thinks you don't care, he still does. Why do you think he said yes to me? He did it for you Dean. To save you. To prove that he isn't useless. All of his suffering is for your sake."  
He tied to ignore them, tried to block them out. The words he least wanted to hear. Not from that body. Not in that voice. The words that would haunt him every day afterwards.  
_He did it for you Dean... All of his suffering is for your sake..._


End file.
